Friday, February 18, 2011

I gave up on blogging

Well, so much for keeping a current blog... Honestly though, I have never been good at keeping a journal or diary, so this is no surprise for me - Oh sure I have had diaries, but there were months between entries in all of them. All that I can do now is do my best to transition from a blog that I wrote 8 months ago. While I know that there will be things that I skip, the problem is unavoidable at this point.

Picking up where I left off...

After David and I lost Nathaniel, we recovered well with great support from our friends. He and I experienced a sort of spiritual high, and we became enlightened by our tragedy - we were changed people, experiencing our life blessings in a whole new way... or at least for awhile. After our experiences with and recovery from tough situations and tragedy, David and I fell into a period of monotony and complacency that was undeniable. We liked each other, sure - we even loved each other, but why couldn't we seem to feel connected? In desperation, we reached out to find something fun to do. Our 5 year anniversary came, and we went to St Croix together, calling it a trip of renewal - ha! The trip was amazing; the renewal that came afterwards... not so much. The next year, 2009, was the worst year of our marriage - we spoke of divorce and sought marriage counseling. If there was anything more miserable to experience, I couldn't have handled it - that period was horrible. So, when we were only marginally better in our relationship when the new year came (2010), we made a vow to separate if our next year together brought more bad than good for us. As it turned out... something happened. We turned a corner. We laughed again. We had meaningful conversation. We felt better than ever.

So with the recovery of our relationship, we talked about children again, and the possibility of having a new addition to the family. We weighed the options: surrogacy, adoption, and surgery for me so that we could have our own child. After much discussion and research (and following the advice of my OBGYN), we decided to look into a surgical procedure called a pre-pregnancy transabdominal cerclage placement. And in June of 2010, we drove to San Antonio to have the procedure done. Dr Sabella, in San Antonio, placed the cerclage via da Vinci robot, placing a shoelace-type band just at the base of the uterus to keep the cervix closed during pregnancy. Two weeks later, we were released to attempt conception whenever we felt ready.

Well, both before and after the surgery, David and I began to enjoy our time together, and more and more we started to think about delaying our attempts to conceive. Once the recovery from the surgery had passed, we decided that we would just wait and see what happens - after all, surely I wouldn't conceive right away. HA! I conceived that very cycle that followed the surgery. Who knew it would happen so quickly! We were excited, and well... nervous.

So what came next? Well, there begins another story...

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